Coping With the Unexpected Loss of a Loved One

Stages of the Grieving Process

Studies show that those who openly grieve, heal much faster than those who repress or avoid their feelings. The grieving process is nature's way of helping us heal. In fact, repression of feelings can cause bitterness that lasts a lifetime.

Men have Special Needs

Men in our culture have been taught since childhood to suppress their emotions. In general, this results in emotional immaturity. It is like a muscle that is weak because of lack of exercise.
Anger is one of the few emotions thought to be "acceptable" for men. Unfortunately, suppressed emotions often erupt uncontrollably leading to counter productive violence.

Coping Mechanisms

  • Express your feelings. It is said, "The only way out is through." That is, you can only heal by feeling the depth of your loss and going through the grieving process.
  • Exercise, hot baths, and massage
  • Hypnotherapy, meditation
  • Take each day in stride, one step at a time
  • Support system -- The most crucial times when support is essential is from 6-10 weeks after the tragedy, and the year that follows. After the first few months, family, friends, and employers may lose patience with your grieving. They mean well, but it is outside their experience and understanding. This is when support groups are particularly helpful.

    Acceptance

    It takes, patience, perseverance, hard work , and a length of time to reach the acceptance stage successfully.

    Judy Gruchawka, is a Registered Nurse and Certified Hypnotherapist. Having had several personal losses through the years including the loss of a newborn infant in 1974, she feels comfortable helping others through the grieving process. She established and directed a program of grieving support counseling, both private and group, at the Westerly Hospital in Westerly, RI for parents and grandparents from 1988-1995. She has spent most of her thirty years of nursing working with children. The past eight years have been spent in obstetrics and pediatrics. She has been taking time for herself this year by traveling around the USA. She plans on continuing her work giving seminars at area hospitals and establishing a new grieving support group somewhere on the East Coast. If she can be of help to you, call 409-327-0079 ext. 4512


    In the Wake of Death, a booklet written and published by Mrs. Gruchawka, can be purchased for $4.30 each. Checks can be sent to Judy Grchawka at 101 Rainbow Drive Apt. 4512 Livingston, TX 77351-9300 The author is also available for lectures and workshops and is willing to assist hospital obstetric units in setting up policies and procedures with nursing professionals. In her two day workshop, she will teach nursing staff how to affectively deal with parents who have experienced a prenatal or neonatal loss. Judith Gruchawka, R.N., C.H. resume

    Judith Gruchawka, R.N., C.H.

    101 Rainbow Dr., Apt. 4512
    Livingston, TX 77351-9300
    409-327-0079 box# 5412

    Career Objective

    Hospice and Geriatric Nursing, using all aspects of my medical and holistic nursing background. To assist and teach the patient to better heal themselves, beyond but including the medical regime. Also, to better accept their circumstances.

    Education

    1960-63 St. Anne's School of Nursing, Fall River, MA earned R. N.

    1965-85 Extension courses: 4 college credit courses, C.E.U. courses

    Recent Education

    1987 Red Cross First Aid - industrial/emergency nursing

    1992-96 C.P.R .Certification -American Heart Association

    1991-95 Neonatal Resuscitation -American Academy of Pediatrics
    biannual re-certification

    1993-95 Certified Hypnotherapist - Masters Program

    Workshops & Seminars

    C.E.U. credits 89-94

    Publications

    1995 Guidelines in the Grieving Process of Newborn Infant Death For Parents & Professional Staff
    by Judith Gruchawka

    1995 In The Wake of Death - Coping With The Loss of a Loved One by Judith Gruchawka and Steven Gruchawka

    Recent Teaching

    1987-94 Childbirth Education Classes

    Employment

    1986-94 Westerly Hospital - Women's health Service
    Nursery & Postpartum, assistant in Labor & Delivery
    Women's Health Issues - Medical and Surgical patient care, including cancer
    1993-94 Kent County Hospital - per dium, Obstetrics and Neonatal Intensive Care Unit

    1993-94 Homefront Home Health Care Agency - Per dium; geriatric and Hospice care

    1986-90 Part-time Pediatric Nurse Assistant for Dr. Neida Q. Ogden M.D.

    1985-86 Occupational Health Nurse at Thames Valley Steel Corporation

    1977-85 Dr. John McGowan M.D.
    Pediatrics Office Nurse and Allergy Immunology Office Nurse. Responsibilities included nursing, office manager, instruction of patients and new staff, clinical and administrative duties during 10 year growth and expansion period, setting up three separate office practices, organization and preparation of hymenoptra/allergy extracts, administration of pulmonary function testing, intradermal skin testing and treatments

    1965-76 Office Pediatric Nurse for Dr. Henry Freye M.D.

    1963-65 Charge nurse on psychiatric unit at Norwich State Psychiatric Hospital