Why My Dog Won't Use a Computer...

1. He can't stick his head out of Windows 95
2. The FETCH command isn't available on all platforms
3. It's too messy to "mark" evey Web site he visits
4. He can't help attacking the screen when he hears "you've got mail"
5. The fire hydrant icon is simply frustrating
6. Involuntary tail-wagging is a dead giveaway that he's browsing www.purina.com instead of working
7. Three words: carpal paw syndrome
8. Saliva-coated floppy disks refuse to work
9. SIT and STAY were hard enough; DELETE and SAVE are out of the question
10. He's distracted by cats chasing the mouse
11. TrO{gO HyAqr4tDc TgrOo TgyPme WeIjTyH P;AzWqs, (Too hard to type with paws)