Your D.E.'s Column: From the Heart...

I was listening to public radio this morning while getting dressed to come to work. On it was a segment on the larger culture we live in whose hallmarks seem to be self-declared sophistication that manifests itself as boredom, cynicism or hopelessness. The author talked about how we view our government, how we view service to the larger whole; how we despair of making a difference so we do not even bother to show up. When we do show up, he said, our attitudes often scream that we are indifferent.

I wonder how many of us can relate to these feelings? Many people have told me that our UU churches are not mirrors of our culture but its transformers. When I look back over our history and look around me today, I can see some truth in that. When I look harder though, I wonder what we are doing with the part of the anxiety and ennui that belongs to each member of this society, including us?

Because we are, as a people, so bright and so articulate, we tend to understand the psychology and sociology of the world we live in. We can converse, argue, change and grow in our understanding about the complexity and state of that world. When I am out on the road though, many of you are telling me you are starved for genuine passion and enthusiasm for our faith or for other causes. Many of you are telling me you are feeling dulled by the lack of the authentic experience and genuine human connections in your worlds. You want to be touched and moved as well as stimulated intellectually. You are telling me you want your faith community to help you make sense of the boredom that exhibits itself around us from low turnout at the voting booths to maliciousness that manifests itself between people when they have no place to explore their real fears or articulate their real hopes. You are telling me that between us we have a dream of building something that is indeed counter-cultural: A community of care and support where we can share the essence of our hopes and fears, not just the surface of our roles.

My experience tells me that when we do not build those structures of connection and authenticity into our communities we can become destructive with each other. Without these connections some try to wrest control of their congregations from others; others look for every flaw in our ministers, and often use them as the repository for their own sadness and disappointment.

The good news is, more and more of our congregations are looking for ways to build community by placing boundaries around behaviors that are unacceptable. These include simple rules, such as "We will talk to each other, not about each other." These covenants of behavior are critical for the real work we have to do together. We must be willing to enforce them with each other, for there is no outside body that can do that for us. We must be willing to stop the climate of rumor and innuendo and have folks sort out their differences in more mature ways.

Freedom to behave any way we want is not one of the tenants of our wonderful tradition. In order for us to experience the freedom necessary to find our own truth, we must each take on the responsibility to make our communities countercultural havens of excitement, clarity, good will, hope and support for each other and our professional staff. People do not make commitments that are as strong as yours if they are not seeking a community that is profoundly meaningful. The cycle of hopelessness and anxiety are only reinforced when our religious communities fail to uphold a deeper, higher standard than the community at large. Our communities are built on the vision of the whole and maintained by the integrity of the individuals. Where do your vision, integrity and needs lead you? How can I help?
- REV. MARY CHULAK HIGGINS