Mary’s Musings

I have had a most amazing summer that began with sadness at losing my fathers’ sister, Ann to colon cancer. His profound sadness was hard to witness. The cycle of life goes on. At the same time as my Aunt was letting go, my daughter, Caroline and her husband, Greg were preparing to bring my first grandchild, Sydney Adair Pelley, into the world. Of course, they might have described the event differently, for I do not believe THEIR intent was to give ME a grandchild, but it points up just how relative everything is in our universe. The cycle of life goes on. I spent a week in upstate New York looking for land on which to build my retirement home in a dozen or so years. The cycle of life goes on. A violent storm uprooted a hundred year old oak tree and crashed it through the roof and ceiling of my daughters house last weekend. All the people were unhurt but the house is crushed in the back. The cycle of life goes on.

Our lives give us so much richness and sadness; so much beauty and confusion; so many choices and so much presented to us as if the issue was already settled. We cannot order our days as much as we may want to be “in control.” We can seek to find ways to respond to our lives that keep us feeling centered, but the ability to control the outcome of our days is not ours.

There are cycles in the lives of our congregations as well. At the very time that a congregational president feels lucky to have such an easy year, the minister resigns. At the moment when your building finally seems “just right,” a hurricane threatens. At the moment when you think that the relationships in your congregation could not get any worse, someone comes forward and breathes a calmness into your common life and all good things become possible again. Without preplanning, a word is spoken that heals the wounded heart and soothes the grieving partner. With great intention we create an environment that helps our children feel safe in a world that is portrayed as hostile. We do our work together through all the cycles. And life goes on.

No stage endures unless we hold onto the past as the only vision we have for the future. When I am most sure of this, I am not overcome by anxiety. I can find my center even when I am not in control. This is my wish for you this year: I wish you to look deep inside you and find ways to let go of visions that serve the past, not the future. I hope your congregation will risk letting the larger world know we exist. I wish for you a deepening of your religious community that looks for ways to open yourselves the joys of diversity, not the threat. I hope that each of you will find ways to remember the shared values that hold us together when you find yourself angry at another. I hope that civility and compassion will be the watchwords that guide you in the year ahead. And remember, the cycle of life will go on, and on.

— THE REVEREND MARY CHULAK HIGGINS DISTRICT EXECUTIVE